16
Jan
Weighing In
Hola, Merhaba, Sussrekall, Bonjour et Salaam to all of you! May you be feeling peace and happiness where this finds you! BeautifulPeople, I wish you daily fun. Fun with anything!
Even if you are, as we are, standing in the monsoon-like rain! Ah, yes….it is predictably rainy in my city, and Vancouver is wet.
And beautiful.
Om Nama Gratitude, baby! I am grateful the rain is clean and fresh, and would hope it washes away the negativity from the world,
And the *gasp* negativity I sometimes look at myself with. Cuz its normal- even for a bubbly-little-optimist such as myself. Seeee? I’m ever the honest grrrrrl, even though I’m accused of being “too optimistic”. WhatEVVVVer!
It has been a very busy week and I am distracted from much with work. Except, of course, my babydog-Nicklas.
He Is helping me, actually, with a lot of issues I’m having.
You see, having been a performer and busybee for 20yrs, and travelling so much and thriving with my Sattvic, rawvegan diet throughout, I was predictably slim. Being very active through shows and excercise and yoga and martialarts impacted my physiology further. In all fairness, I was likely a bit underweight.
Enter chemo. I assure you, most of us believe “chemo” makes the body emaciated and sickly.
Sadly, this may be true for many patients with many different chemotherapy prescriptions.
Well, not for moi! LOL!
Most of the girls I know who are fellow breastcancer patients GAIN weight. Like my co-patients, I did.
And I worked out during chemo.
And I made a record during chemo.
Not because “I was feeling so awesome” but because its what I do and what I know.
I ate extremely healthgful food and didn’t miss one chemo due to neutropenia, or anything, as a result. Plus, because I excercised during treatment, I’m convinced I did better than I would have, had I not moved my body around, encouraging all my systems to function optimally. Made sense to me and made me feel in control of my fight.
I tried to be a model patient.and I still do, approaching everything with openmindedness, pragmatism, optimism, and lovenergy.
Enter my job “in front of the camera”.
Loveydoveyfriends, it can be an absolute MINDFUCK!
Even for the Krishnaconcious. Even for the beautifulpeople.
Even for goofy little me.
Not one of us humans, living in this society, is immune from self-deprication. It is brainwashed into us from a young age. We don’t even really know its there, half the time.
And it is annoying when it comes into my monkeymind, because I identify those feelings as “hollow” and “shallow” and admonish myself further for even thinking about such topics, y’know? Duh!
Soooooooo many things are sso much more important, and it is time-wasting to be concerned about “appearance”.
But as a fellow flawed human- I still think about it. :P
And with all my “on-camera” work this week-it came up a lot.
And then………I look to my babydog!
Nicklas is an unintentional teacher. He is not “trying to lead” me to Righteousness.
But I learn from him:
*Nick does not know what he weighs.
*Nicjk does not care what he weighs.
*Nick does not think about wrinkles.
*Nick does not stress about having his picture taken.
*Nick is not concerned about BMI.
*Nick doesn’t wish his “jeans from three years ago” fit
*Nick does not give ONE thought to these things.
Neither should we. :)
My cherished friends, with it being a NewYear, I encourage you to abandon past habits of “self-deprication”. Don’t have that running inner dialogue of negativity. You are way too awesome!!!! I will endeavour to join you in the breaking of that habit. Fuck it.
Listen to Mastodon.
Walk your dog.
Call your mom.
Have a bath.
Brush your teef.
Eat a banana.
Even eat two!
And feel good about yourself. No matter what. You are Perfect. And that is the Truth.
Wherever you are at this moment, is where you are supposed to be. Honest!
And, if your favorite jeans no longer fit, the brightside might be that you have to buy a bigger BRA!!!! LOLOLOLOLOL!
Have an awesome weekend and live in your Light!!!
With love and adoration, as ever,
Sai Love to you all!
Hare Krishna.
Fuckin’ Horns,
Biffy
Xoxoxox
January 16th, 2010 at 4:01 PM
I think as women we have it wired in our brains to obsess over our weight and how we look. In most of my photos I am goofing off and making a fool of myself because I’m really insecure about how I look. I especially hate my side profile because of my nose and round cheeks. I tell people “DONT TAKE PHOTOS OF ME FROM THE SIDE!!!” Lol!
But Bif, you are beautiful on the outside and in the inside. A lot of people don’t have that. Your muscles put mine to shame too! Hehehe!
We all have our sweat-pants and hoodie days because we feel fat.. But know that you totally aren’t! Quite honestly, I haven’t noticed any weight gain in you except for muscle. You look more buff than before but you’re still lean.
And very very photogenic!! I took over a hundred photos of you at your last show and you looked great in all of them. :)
January 19th, 2010 at 6:44 PM
I really needed to hear this. Thank you.
January 20th, 2010 at 5:48 AM
Bif I think you are right on there! Thinking about all that stuff doesn’t matter. I look at my cat sometimes and think she’s so relaxed…. she doesn’t have to worry about all the stuff I do… but most of the time I don’t need to worry about it anyways! My goal over the last year has been to be as healthy as I can be, physically, and mentally. And I think I’ve made so much progress over the last year! I’ve started to read a book called “The Art of Happiness” written by Dr Howard Cutler, about his talks with The Dalai Lama…. i’ve only just begun reading it and I’ve had so much to think about already (positive thinking!) ~I think you’d enjoy the read too :)
Much love to you beautiful girl!!
Donna
January 20th, 2010 at 9:32 PM
Bif, you are an inspiration! Never giving up on your practices, even during chemo. That’s couragous, to say the least. Perhaps being in the public eye could help motivate you to do what you do, but you don’t look like much of a lounger to me. Regardless of what you are doing, “for a living.” — IF your working on a new album, I sure hope your present band sticks around to record it. You guys rocked hard on the last one! I still can’t believe it didn’t get more air time…But what do I know? I’ve got a monkey mind! Looking forward to hearing whatever your next one is like. PEACE
January 22nd, 2010 at 11:02 PM
‘You are just perfect’ The inscription on the little cermaic ballerina figurine my parents gave to me while battling Anorexia. I finally believe it, though it took me many years. We are all beautiful creatures. and your amazing sense of beauty and positivity helps us remember that.
Thank you, :)